Garden of Eden

I doubt it is hardly noticeable but this is really my silvery 50th! So little for so long, but I’ll try to make sure this is a big one and worth while reading.

I shall wind back up to my mid semester break. A few friends came over and I’m starting to see more and more familiar faces, which is a good thing. One part of that which made me feel really contented is helping out them people around, some sort of a tour guide I must say. At least I felt sufficiently useful to others and not wasting my time away doing absolutely nothing. After a couple of weeks of tolerating how my sheets were actually turning most of my clothing and even skin blue-ish, I finally splurged during an outing to Ikea. New savvy sheets with elements of Patapon, happy me. The next semester quickly followed suit, and while it has been pretty uneventful since... I must say work will start pilling terribly soon without a doubt. A more interesting story would probably be the naked run I saw last Thursday, ha. Yep, a slightly unbalanced proportion of nude dudes than dudettes having a run around campus in cold weather. Disturbing? Yes. Exciting? It was. Funny to see how ecstatic the girls are witnessing this first-hand and camera ready as well. Of course they would be promptly accused for being horny followed by an attempt on false denial. And not long after some powerful coercion, they’d admit having their eyes fixated at all the ‘tools’ dangling in front of their very eyes. :)

One thing I noticed when I enjoy reading other blogs is how comical some dialogues that they incorporate can be. Words alone sometimes are not enough; there must be incentive for further reading. Sometimes, what I’m about to tell out keeps me awake during lectures and it goes something like;

A: Eh, where are all the hot guys!? I barely see any. You told me here got a lot leh. (gives a sorta disappointed sigh indicating what a waste to travel all the way to Aus for mediocre scenery)

Ed: What no hot guys. Don’t you think that the people here in Aussie have generally better average looks than in M’sia, especially when you are taking engineering into consideration. Tell me; have u spotted any especially enticing guys in our batch?

A: Bluek!

Ed: See, you already got my point. (And then goes on explaining how the average hotness applies in terms of bar charts)

A: Oh wait! That guy not bad weh. There, 30-40 degrees.

Ed: Where? Which one? Got so many in that line?

A: Oh shit, never mind already. The normal face was okay, but once he smiled got something wrong. (and quickly shifts to... ) Where that super cute ABC? (Aus borned Chinese). I heard from so many sources already.

Next up, (apparently cute guy passes by)

B: gasp* Omg cute! squeal*

Ed: Oie don't fa tin la woman. What's wrong with you. (I wasn't that rude but you get my drift, ha)

So much more interesting compared to an average conversation that would have happened between the guys.

Z: Have u seen X?

Ed: Nope. (already anticipated what is going to happen next)

Z: X so pretty. Do you think that girl looks like X?

Ed: (Looks around, and spotted something vaguely familiar). I don’t think so, X is taller.

Z: No lah, you see again properly. Her hair from behind really looks like X.

Ed: Okok, you’re right. (gives up)

Shall I turn back even further? Recently I had also been reading some material someone had written. I’ll try to remember how it goes roughly. The story was about this person whom wasn’t feeling very happy because he isn’t well accepted in the society. And then one day by chance he signed up for a camp in place for his brother, and he continues to dread the social interaction he would have to endure with 30 people for a month. Soon after, he began to loosen up and he termed it one of the better moments in his life. The people attending the camp were as close as family can be, given the circumstantial 1 month. All’s well until, of course it all has to come to an end. With almost every other member returning back to where they originated from, the once secondary family gone their separate ways. Some handled it pretty well, but unfortunately the author and another of his friend didn’t. They sunk into depression, and cut themselves off from their old friends.

For a very long time, I’ve been trying to search for the fitting reason as to why they would have behaved that way but without much success. What he said next was something in which I could finally relate to. He explained how distances can really put a strain on a friendship, like how difficult it is to maintain it at the former level it has once been. Sure e-mails, social networking sites or phone calls are easy options to do (but really, HOW many of you actually do this religiously?). The thing is that it will never be the same. Trying to speak again to someone after a long time invites an initial awkwardness, but smoothly warms up back to its old ways. But can this be sustained long enough? He feels elated, exceptionally happy and grateful that he did have a talk with his friend. Sadly, within a few days he’d feel empty again. And it continues as a cycle. Plainly put, this can be a really unsettling feeling and it would probably be better to avoid feeling empty again (flawed reasoning I know, but also the truth). They would say that I didn’t do enough to prevent this from happening. That’s not true, because I did the best that I could. I was scared... and slowly becoming impermeable. Everybody knew so little then. Sometimes, people can be really unforgiving.

What I can genuinely say is that I hope I know a lot more now.

* I also hope that it was worth your time reading, apart from this being dedicated to Charlie. And maybe even possibly inspire those that I do not know of :)