Garden of Eden

For a while now, my mind has been consistently floating over to many areas, drifting onwards to whichever direction it chooses to without me being aware of it. My playlist of usually only a few songs, if not one that I have selected; loops continuously until I come to my senses and realise that I’m never going to get back that 30 minutes of time again...along with many other things that I wished could have been kept within my reach.

‘He’s really nice, really quiet’ – Obviously, I would definitely classify that as a polite description. Definitely not a credible statement though, I very much agree. That is the problem.

The problem is, there are probably too many things in this world; which is why it is impossible to drink it all in. Multiple events can shed various lights about a person, from their respectively diverse angles makes it increasingly difficult to understand a situation completely. Being analytical is soothing. We approach the matter of interest in a very orderly way, and anticipate responses to prepare counter measures should anything go out of script. Lead the tricks, and be in control. But things do not progress as smoothly as always, there are bound to be unwanted obstacles. So we shall broaden our perspectives as much as we can. In some ways I happen to think I’ll never get tired of different perceptions, it is refreshing to see whether the matter could have been possibly approached in a different manner. How more can it be so ultimately, invigorating?

These countless viewpoints generated from being a sceptic, realist, cynic and pragmatic can often be tiring to comprehend. Besides, being too cautious build’s a wall. It’s like a cold block of ice. The aim is to melt it, which could be done by pouring water all out continuously. But what happens if mists of water are sprayed on instead? Aggravation would be a good guess.

Unfortunately, my problem is that I can’t tell anyone. For something which I have never been so disappointed before, and frankly still reasonably hung up on a couple of incidents which I wasn’t proud to have gone through. Because I now know better, I’ll always be the bad guy and no matter how much I try to overcome it, for some reason I felt that it could never be enough.